Single Discord Message RPG!

hi again! this is a tiny RPG i made back in 2023 for the GLoG discord server :) it fits entirely in a single discord message (this is 1,992 characters, max is 2,000), which makes it super easy to share. if you make your own, its called an SDM RPG! it doesnt get a name, but if it did then the name would probably be 6 characters long. so, if you come up with a 6 char name then let me know :) i do not have the characters spare to credit you lol

6+d6 each BLOOD (hp), WARRIOR , WEIRD, GRACEFUL, INDUSTRIAL 
a KNACK (adds +3) 1. poetry, 2. cultism, 3. mudfarming, 4. sailing, 5. heraldry, 6. make it up
do things by rolling 2d10 over

stealing subterranean TREASURES gives you PWR, and a GL●G
DEBT to GODDESSES = start with a GL●G

GL●GS:
FIGHTING DUDE - 1. keep attacking till you miss, add PWR to dmg and wicked skillz 2. kiss bros to heal d6 BLOOD = PWR times per day (surgery optional) 3. can weild weapons fit for giants 4. get d12 students and insta-gib foes with less PWR than you on hit

WARLOCK - 1. make a plee to the demons and G_ds, pick a curse or a blessing, offer a sacrifice (PWR = good sacrifice) 2. close eyes and sing to see sprites and spells and enchantments dancing like silken parasites 3. find a MAGIC DICE in the moss and dirt, roll it to gamble with angels 4. can make scrolls out of 100 silver shards and an hour of smoke and screaming (both per scroll PWR)

PRINCESS - 1. gain loyal servant, 50% chance evil but in comical ineffective way, if dead can be replaced anywhere servants are plentiful (butler adviser lover pet) 2. can convince ANYONE to treat you as trustworthy (not competent) 3. backstab foe to reroll their BLOOD but as damage  4. lengthy conversation or hour of hidden watching to discover ones deepest desire, can create new burning desires through annoying or humiliating processes

ENGINEER - 1. can work twice as fast and twice as hard, or as ten if you break your bones 2. know the sacred art of machinary (catapults, balistas, traps) 3. can make potions using adjectives and verbs from magical ingredients 4. can forge enchanted swords and shields using TREASURE

to play as ANYTHING ELSE you the player have to make up your own class

make up starting gear
chain -2 dmg, sword d8 dmg, wand d12 dmg 6 uses, shield +2 dodge 
heal 2d6 BLOOD each night, dead at 0

all NPCs have to use a GL●G class from a blog you like. cant find = make one

the whole game is decisions. make sure they count

 

 

 

 also, here is a SDM dungeon!! the content G_ds demand content!

 

WITCHWOOD SHAREHOUSE
1. entrance in roots of knotted oak to 2
2. grotto, ancient hollow knight guards entrance to 3, secret burrow to 4
3. well filled with fairy oil, drink to float. rat bats lurk... ladder above well to 5, collapsed door to 6
4. tiny shrine to ratmother, scroll of summon magic rat and flask of ale and tiny bones, burrow to 7
5. ladder up tree trunk, then trinket strewn thorn dwarf home. dwarf wants sugar, trades for fuck off iron hammer, knows of room 7
6. crystal sarcophagus has impish cyclops, moat of acid, chained iron door to 7, broken bars to 8
7. unrotting corpse of witch, impailed on bronze flamberge upon sundered altar. circle of 20 golden goblets filled with blood, disturbance awakens evil witch (obvious 3x scrolls of each: blindness, summon ratbats, suffer - self harm or cackle). giant stone cross blocking door to 8
8. small ancient hovel, cracked pottery, 1d4 dried cleric spell herbs, books on divine anarchism (allows mundane dmg to angels, but become unhallowed), warding ring carved in earth is one way for works of iron. sleeping emerald tiger hidden under leaves and twigs. giant stone cross blocking door to 7
ENCOUNTERS 
1. 2d4 rat bats want food 2. 1000 spiders want darkness 3. room filled with soot sprites 4. ghosts dancing around, touch and save vs death, want freedom from 50/50 knight or witch 5. giant leech on you, take 1 dmg per round unnoticed 6. escaped spell, seeks to live inside a wizard mind so it can eat (EXPLOSION, SHIELD, SWITCH, SINK) 

 

 

 

BirdDragon wrote a second level to the dungeon! which i am posting here without permission :)

 

and then of course Phlox just had to go and upstage us both

 

and of course..

 

 

and last but not least, !AntiTime! also made ZMAD - Zombies Must All Die, another really cool SDM!

Rusted Iron Helm [SCRAP PAPER DRAFT]

i found this as a .txt document buried in my RPG folders. the syllable generator is pretty nonsense, but the surname generator does work nicely. i borrowed the format of the surnames from Valiant Quest, a really really fun looking game which has a really strong identity as campy tongue in cheek fantasy. though i pulled the actual words and syllables from microruin, a text based dungeon crawler i made  

for some reasons it seems convinced i made it this year, but last edited it last year? how curious. anyway, enjoy :)

ps remind me never to try and make tables in html... converting those tabs was a pain

RUSTED IRON HELM

MAKING A CHARACTER

BEGIN WITH A NAME

Give them a first name. If yours suck, try these instead.

1. Singard
2. Carmlik
3. Helshepard
4. Meridia
5. Mizzar
6. Shiko
7. Marlo
8. Riviar
9. Callum
10. Emiel
11. Jevious

OR

1d3 syllables... (1d6 for row then 1d6 again)

ix pyx ie jay mar ra 
sig ero sal xim hif fen 

sy ven nul hyl dex sin
kin yen ai au gar den 

dag swor ard pom mel 
nar haf ial ken sen iel shi

 

Make their last name in the format of

1. ADJECTIVE + NOUN
2. NOUN + NOUN
3. ADJECTIVE + VERB(er)
4. NOUN + VERB(er) Like Bluesword or Shieldhill.

 

ADJECTIVE (1d6 then 1d6)

fae	black	ruby
war	green	blue
heavy	lavender	red
lighter	emerald	strong
fleet	emerald	strong
quick	sapphire	old
hex	morning	stricken
sicken	cursed	golden
vixen	hollow	forgotten
fell	worn	hewn
void	broken	ghostly
early	split	ruby

 

NOUN

fawn	ship	arm
rose	kings	servitor
pixie	moon	rune
sun	curse	hex
fen	sky	field
wolf	sword	shield
foot	blood	heart
warp	eye	smith
beard	glen	ocean
glade	blade	staff
forest	leaf	stone
iron	bone	skull

VERB

freer	walker	runner
skimmer	catcher	singer
swimmer	dancer	sworn
searcher	slayer	wielder
splitter	grasper	betrayer
healer	archer	rememberer
finger	carrier	redeemer

GIVE THEM A CREST

Draw your heraldry with cheeap coloured markers.

SOME IDEAS... golden bright red lion black navy blue dragon crimson olive green unicorn yellow diamonds sprawling plants bright blue stripes castle emarald sword repeating motif

water key crown spear bird sun face wings helmet strange shape spiral crossing symbols flower moon torch purple ship tower

STASTICS

2d6 each...

Brawn Swords Parrying Agility Spears Dodging Artifice Axes Endure Tracking Hammers Warding Fellowship Bows Casting Deceit Crossbows Faith

Roll UNDER a score with a d12 to succeed at a check

EQUIPMENT

Everyone has... flint & steel day of rations

1. chainmail (as composite)
2. halfplate (as composite)
3. lamellar (as composite)
4. thick furs (as textile) and painted round-shield
5. buckled dungeon punk leather harness (as textile) and spiked buckler

6. gambeson (guess) and towershield.

7. rough rope (20m) and 10 candles

8. pouch of caltrops and iron file
9. lantern and 2 oil flasks
10. hooked iron pole (3m) and polished iron mirror
11. 10 pitons and hammer

12. bear trap with chain

13. vial of poison

14. ancient spyglass
15. grenade
16. pot of very strong glue
17. vial of universal antidote
18. pouch of marbles and spool of wire

ROLL THRICE and pick your favourite TWO from either table (so if you rolled a 4, pick between arming sword or combustion lance)

1. stiletto dagger
2. duelling rapier
3. wakizashi
4. arming sword
5. one-handed warhammer
6. bearded axe
7. thorned mace
8. spring loaded pile bunker
9. ancient katana
10. elegant longsword
11. heavy warpick
12. double headed axe
13. scythe
14. breaker blade
15. yew-wood lance
16. meathook polearm
17. chain sickle
18. war yo-yo
19. spiked whip
20. brutal flail

1. flintlock
2. longbow
3. swiftbow
4. combustion lance (princess mononoke gonnes)
5. sling stones
6. javelins
7. shurikens
8. hand ballista
9. repeater crossbow
10. crossbow 

Who will be your puppet tonight? [SCRAP PAPER DRAFT]

A selection of unsorted, unedited, unbalanced and unelaborated characters. do with them as you will!!! let me know if you use them and ill add you to a ledger that i will keep for secret reasons

Wielder of the Weeping Sword

1. A sword so choked with evil that it drips a poisoned black ink. The poison inflicts the victim with visions of demons who seek to tear apart their flesh
2. An oath to let no evil blood go unshed

Flickering Wick Knight

1. A giant candle instead of a head. You drink fire and burn beautifully. The light of your firesoul can ward away and torment fell beasts if you allow it to consume your vitality and dwindle your wick
2. A regal warhorse, with flashing eyes, fangs for teeth, and claws for hooves

Rampant Golem

1. Tendons of iron, skin of blasted clay, guts of oil and gears. As strong as a bear, as strong as 10 mortal men, as a beast of industry
2. The knowledge that no authority will ever bind you again

Willow Witch

1. You can force beasts to grow a simulacrum soul. This gives it the ability to think and talk like a person, but for this act of spiritual transgression it will hate you for as long as it lives. Without intervention the soul will die after a week, and the beast will suffer through the whole process of atrophy
2. You can speak the native language of Kami G_ds, the hulking beast deities who guard the world's heart-forests

Vermin Elf

1. You are of the species of the only naturally evolved person. Your body is filled with redundant organs, random structures, failures and idiosyncrasies. Instead of a soul you have a fungal network with which to mimic freewill and intelligence
2. You know the secret language of detritivores. They have no souls so they may not speak, but the movements of their squirming bodies and the taste of their oozing flesh reveals stored knowledge of rot and time
3. You know the secret language of fungus. They have no souls, they have something else. A hive intelligence happened-upon via chaos iteration. They are the merchants of the forests and the flowers, and the arcanists of decay. Beware.

Cannibal Nun

1. Ditched cause I wrote the ghoul first and they overlap too much oops. oh but it does mirror with the floral cultist in such a pretty way…

Floral Cultist

1. Give someone a big smooch to heal them!
2. Arrange bouquets in secret patterns and combinations to perform spells of enchantment and beguilement

Huntsman

1. You can perfectly track any creature whose blood you draw, or who has drawn your blood
2. If you wear the skins of another creature, everything will mistake you for that creature. If you speak out loud then the spell is broken, but grunts and other such noises do not disturb it

Pact Hound

1. You can eat rotted foods, survive off of putrid liquids, and track decaying bodies if you crawl along the floor sniffing it out
2. Divinity is like toxic fumes to you. It scalds the flesh

The Last Sane Ghoul

1. You can knit together your wounds by pouring the hot blood of intelligent creatures over them. Drink a creature dry to become overfull and fortify your flesh against harm
2. Eating the heart of a monster or warrior gives you a portion of their power
3. You can only eat meat

Escaped Princess

1. You were locked away and now you’re free. The earth itself waits with bated breath to find out why
2. Whenever you want, you can reveal a hidden mark of evil and hunger - some twisted inhuman aspect that leaks out in terrifying fashion. Every time you do, you must also reveal a supernatural weakness that the unseen sprites and daemons will whisper on the wind, carried to the ears of witchfinders and horror-slayers

Glass Girl

1. You body is entirely invisible, until you experience any deep emotion, at which point your form saturates with an auric hue
2. You can safely fill your body with any liquid. You can contain any number of liquids without them mixing, but have a capacity of 66L before you start to overflow. They may issue forth in emotionless-tears, or bleeding cracks in your form. 

Titan’s Memory

1. You are the forgotten memory of an ancient Titansmith, those long gone forgers of the world. Your birthright craft is perfect and flawed - if you choose it, anything you create has the quality of complete invulnerability, but lasts only a day and a night.
2. Anything you create with your own heart and intent has no magic, no special quality - it is just yours, plain and simple. No borrowed perfection, no inherited transience. (as in, you can craft like normal too, but you're angsty about it)
3. You know that one day the roots of the world will unravel, and with that day comes oblivion, ragnarok. The knowledge is maddening

osr is cool [SCRAP PAPER DRAFT]

clearing my drafts. if you want to read this post properly then find something psychoactive and hallucinate it as well articulated and elaborated. one day i will come back and make a proper version of this post so i can share it with the irl friends i have who arent terrible brain-rotted by the blogosphere already

 if anyone is reading this and they know of a post which articulates any of these points in greater detail, drop a comment!!!

reasons to like the vague osr sphere

- DIY ethos

- actual stakes

- lighter rules -> faster play

- lots of weird cool content and inspiration

- allows for low-magic fantasy much easier 

- cool art

- dungeon CRAWLING IS COOOOOOOOOOL (aesthetics of ruin my beloved)

- fantasy slice of life 

fantasy slice of life = willingness to embrace the "fiddly bookkeeping" rules but in a way that doesnt suck via innovating on them to make them easier and funner to use

- focused on problem solving and challenge -> prioritising choice over dice rolls

- lots of tools and information on sandbox campaigns. agency is king

- return to the old challenged based game loop of the dungeon crawl -> delve into terrible pit, collect treasure, move slower cos youre ladden with treasure, moving slower means torches burn faster and youre more likely to run into MONSTERS (also wandering monsters dont have treasure, and you might be tempted to leave important items behind to get more treasure etc)

- treasure = XP, means that the game is focused more on exploration and problem solving than with murder. generally adverse to combat because of its meaningful and deadly stakes

- world-first gaming is cool, and theres a lot of development in making systems or philosophies that cleave closer to that ideal (compared to just pushing abstracted buttons)

- strongholds and stuff! 

Siege Engine glog class

YOU MUST CONSTRUCT ADDITIONAL PYLONS

taken from the bottom of my thoughts on mental stats post. glory to the exalted joesky tax. remember, making stuff is easy and fun, you just have to write down what the name is, then what it does. as always, this is entirely untested and probably bad, but it looks cool if you squint your eyes

[if i post this again and forget that i wanted to put a drawing here, please harass me]
[ok im coming back a year later and if i dont post this without a drawing then it will never be posted. so, harass me anyway and i might get around to adding one later in the edit lol] 

SIEGE ENGINE as CLASS

Equipment: 1 mechanic, 2 operators, 1 captain, 4+d4 rockets (takes a turn to land, turns target to ash, d6 damage against anything nearby), 2d4 combat turns worth of machine gun ammo (d4 exploding dice damage as a reaction to taking damage), 3 repair kits, no instruction manual

Skills: 1. gardening or farming, 2. half remembered academia (roll on esoterica table) 3. formalised military education

1. AUTOMATIC

You churn and you smoulder and you scratch and claw at the earth and trees and stone walls until you leave nothing but rubble and ash. 

You have no ability scores, instead

- Automatically succeed on tasks requiring mortal strength or intimidation, coin flip on tasks requiring industrial strength or intimidation 

- Automatically fail on tasks requiring subtly or grace

You can heal d6 HULT POINTS (HP) using a repair kit

You eat trees as rations. anything organic works, you just need enough

2. MURDER

You can now use humanoids as repair kits

3. MACHINE

You now count as organic for the purposes of magic

4. LIVES IN MY HEART

Youve discovered a terrible secret. If you can eat another SIEGE ENGINE (or an equivalent grand machine) then you can install disturbingly articulate wings.